Advent Thoughts, continued...

This is such a weird time of year. You know, we all run around trying to find the best gift for the right person while running into all of the other people that are out doing the same thing. We proclaim this time of year a "season of giving." It is a time of love and hope, and peace even, but our actions speak only the opposite. Moreover, there are so many people just like me, writing articles and blogs observing the paradoxical nature of this time of year. Why don't we ever learn?

Maybe we should just embrace the horror of this time of year. It will relentlessly visit every year and test our resolve (a test that most of us fail). Thank God that he is full of kindness and slow to anger. Our actions speak of a frame of mind that just doesn't really take Jesus seriously. Let's just call it what it is. Jesus as a baby is a nice idea. It's a warm feeling at Christmas Eve when the family is singing Christmas carols at the midnight vigil. The power of the incarnation is lost on us. I can't even say that I really understand the implications of the incarnation of God in Christ. I know that it is integral, but it is lost on us for the commercial-ness of what has become Christmas.

People are sad. People are lonely. People die. Yet we run around listening to our cheery music, starbucks in hand, while the world falls away around us. Christ offers hope to all, but every year, we have only a hair of a grasp on the real "reason for the season."

What do we do? I know what I have said, heretofore is somewhat depressing, but there is hope. There is always hope. If we embrace Christ as a family of the redeemed, what a radical change there could be. Embracing the love and hope and peace of the season is the gift that keeps giving. Eating with family and looking in the eyes of those whom you love is a gift that gives beyond our imaginations. Really observe those loved-ones. Faults aside, embrace the love that Christ gives us for others. Let the love of the incarnate God become incarnate in our actions.

And, watch therefore, that you be ready. You never know when Christ will come, but he will. Even so, come resurrected Christ, come in your power and love, and come in the actions of your followers. Amen.

a year in review

I can't sleep, so I thought I would take the time to review my first year of married life.

For those of you who don't know, I got married December 19, 2009. So, this "year in review" is about 6 days short, forgive me, if you will.

What a year it has been! All the things people say about getting married are true. You plan and plan and before you know it, it's over, the honeymoon is over, and you're back in your apartment-back to life as usual. Only, life has been anything but usual. For some reason, I thought it would be easy to love someone that you are ALWAYS around, and I mean ALWAYS. But it has been a learning experience. Learning experiences are not bad at all, but they can be far from easy.

This time last year as we planned to be married, Meredith and I had no idea the riches God had in store for us our first year. Life with each other would be tested and we would need to learn basic survival skills living with each other. As any of you who know either Meredith or me, we aren't always the easiest people to be around. Meredith would have to finish her last semester of her Master's degree, and I my Bachelor's. I auditioned at some schools and got in, but we chose not to move at the time because of finances (we all know this story and I am sick of telling it). We moved to Charlotte which has been somewhat nice because it was our first experience like that, you know, moving. However, Meredith is looking forward to our moving somewhere that we have never lived. As you may know, Meredith grew up in Charlotte, and while she has come to consider Hickory her home, Charlotte is all too familiar. We lost a dear friend this year, our cat Moochie. I lost a little bit of time in my education, but I am still living, so I believe that I have survived the whole ordeal. We have lost a little square footage in our living space, but the ceilings are higher, so it seems a little bigger. We have lost our tempers only a few times in this year of being together, which I think is nothing short of a true blessing. As you may read in my entry two entries ago about my bemoaning my life and all that seems to be going wrong, there were a lot of things about which Meredith and I could have lost our tempers over, but we did not and I am glad that the Holy Spirit kept us cool.

So where are we now? Well, we're in Charlotte, haven't you been reading? Just kidding. We have grown to love each other even more. We have gotten to know a side of each other that has made our lives that much richer. I feel like we didn't get a newly wedded phase of marriage. I am not sure if that is a good thing or bad, but nonetheless, it seems to have been the case. Either way, our daily prayer is that God will strengthen our marriage and make it the happy union that he blessed December 19, 2009. I truly understood the sacramental nature of the marriage ceremony that day. The only thing that can compare to that is the sacramental nature of our continued love and our continued prayer for grace as we continue on this journey.

You might be wondering what the next step for us is... in that entry from a while back, I said that there would be changes. As I alluded a few paragraphs back, Winthrop University was not the institution for me. I hate it that I learned of this after paying a semester's tuition, but I have learned this lesson. I also learned that it's okay to slow down and learn from mistakes. For now, I have applied to other graduate schools for conducting and hope to hear something in January about auditions. I have learned not to plan so far ahead. I do know that my calling is in the Church. I don't know what I will do after the MM... maybe a DMA? maybe an Mdiv? Who knows? I pray daily for God's continued guidance and grace, and he gives it more abundantly than I could ever ask or imagine.

It is the power of Christ that moves within us and shapes us, this same power that raised him from the dead.

The Lord is truly risen!

Advent Thoughts

What is Advent?

You see a lot of articles and posts about Advent around this time of year. Advent is simply "coming." Notice, I said, "simply." There are a lot of other long explanations about what Advent is and the origins as well as the deeply spiritual implications of it all, but might I just share some of my observations...

I might have said this before, but life is a homecoming. We do everything we do so that we may come home. Sure we are equipped for great things, but in the end, we are always coming home. Life is a homeward journey and every experience takes us a step closer to that that continuing city. Think about all of the imagery that involves someone coming to us in Advent. Christ comes to us. We are to "come to the mountain of the Lord." All of these lead to a blissful inheritance about which we know only little.

Let's talk about the mountain of the Lord. I am no biblical scholar, just a wanna-be. However, I do know that in the Old Testament, when the mountain was involved, it was a big deal. Consider the people of Israel and the Sinai Mountain. It is there that people truly learned of God coming to them through the Law. Think of Mount Carmel. Elijah and the people of Israel witnessed God's mighty acts of salvation that day. And now, in the second chapter of Isaiah, we have this prophet saying, "Come to the mountain of the Lord." Something big must be happening again. Only, we know that this is not physical mountain. This is real... this is the place, the habitation of the Lord and his people. He claims us, all of us, for his own and he will put away war, and malice. To borrow from later imagery, he will wipe every tear from our eye, and there will be no more death and separation. Just as God came to the people of Israel in the Law at Mount Sinai, and he came to the people of Israel at Mount Carmel, he comes to us, all of us in Jesus Christ. The mountain of the Lord is a place of unity with God through Christ.

So life is a coming home. Coming home to the Mountain of the Lord. Simple thoughts from a simple person.

"Almighty God, give us grace to cast away the works of darkness, and put on the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life in which your Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day, when he shall come again in his glorious majesty to judge both the living and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal; through him who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen." Prayer for the First Sunday of Advent

Remembering

I have told a lot of people about my situation this year. I feel that God has taken me through profound experiences this year and many times, more often than not, I am not sure as to how to respond to these situations. I have for the most part tried to maintain that it is the resurrection power of Christ that carries me through all of this, but this is a tough journey to keep up with.

Let's recap...

I got married in December. Just to let you know, we decided December because we didn't want to have to pay for more decorations and we both like that time of year. I can't remember a time in the 16 years that I lived in NC that it snowed in December, but it did this year. December 18, the day before our wedding, it snowed, and snowed and snowed. The expectation for the rehearsal dinner was not met as we only had half of the people show up, understandably. The next day, we had a beautiful wedding and as I look back, I think of how proud I was to be a part of that day and to see all of the people that I love celebrate the day with me. That night, we called the hotel with whom we had reserved a room. We could not get a hold of them due to a power outage. In my cock-eyed optimism, I said, "let's go anyway, we'll find a room somewhere." It turned out that in Asheville, everyone that could be was in a hotel room because of power outages. The only room that we could find on this blustery, albeit, late fall evening was at the Econo Lodge. This was a no smoking room that had clearly been smoking for decades. Exhausted from the day, we slept and woke up very early, and very cold and decided to get out of there quickly. We did, and got to our car, and the car was stuck. I shoveled us out and was less than amused at the situation. We found our hotel, and claimed our room. They were gracious and attentive. We got to our room and the door wouldn't shut. After getting that fixed, we layed down and slept for hours. Sleeping and dissappointment were the themes of that trip that we took. Let me assure you, we did have some good times on that trip. I remember after the wine tasting at the Biltmore, Meredith and I treated ourselves to a little Ghiradelli (sp?) and sparkling lemonade. That was probably the highlight of the trip.

I came home and it was time for Christmas festivities at church. As a director of music, it was time for me to get in full swing. I got back having composed music for a brass ensemble, and one of the trombones didn't show up, ruining the whole thing. I had to revamp the day before the service. A goodly little bit of the choir decided that Christmas Eve was not going to be the service for them this year, so they decided not to show up, for whatever reason. Having two anthems scheduled and barely anyone to sing, I had to make some changes. It was in my performance review, two weeks later, that I learned that for the people of that Church, as the person who was reviewing me said, it was the worst Christmas Eve service they had experienced. Knowing that was an overstatement. I was dissappointed and purposed to change my focus to minstry and helping people, the music would come second. If the music was going to be sub-par anyway because no one wants to show up, at least I am doing something well by being a good "minister" of music.

School was in full gear and I felt like I wasn't doing anything good enough for the professors with whom I was working. I know that this was in my head. At this point, I was getting frustrated and was wondering if there was some sort of time continuum that I had stepped through allowing one rotten thing after another.

I really wanted to pursue an MM in Choral Conducting. In my naive nature, I only applied to two schools. One of which, I received a full ride and another of which said that they were going to do everything that they could do to make sure I could be there. I turned the full ride down in favor of the experience of moving accross the country. More on that later...

As the semester ends, things are wrapping up nicely, I suppose. I have trouble with academic transitions, because the joy that I experienced in the beginning-learning all the new ideas-turns sour toward the end. I haven't mentioned yet that Meredith is finishing her MM at AppState at this point and between that and her jobs and my job and school, I haven't seen my new wife hardly at all. I have kind of forgotten about our newly wedded status.

The summer begins, and the highlight of the summer was going to Bob Jones with Meredith and taking in the largest collection of Sacred Art in the western hemisphere. We had a good time on our short vacation.

A week and a half later, I find out that Arizona can't give me any money. The conductor that said he was going to do everything that he could apparently just couldn't do that much. That plan fell through drastically and we had to make a quick change. This was only four weeks before we were to move. We had already met with the movers. At this point, everyone was telling me something to do and everything was different.

I made the decision to move to Fort Mill, temporarily. We did this at the end of the summer. I found a job at a children's clothing store. This job sucks and it pays next to nothing. I have quit and now work at a grocery store making more money and working for a much better company. Moving in with Meredith's parents was not the ideal, but they have been most gracious. While there, on top of everything that has happened--snowy wedding, sucky honeymoon, being an underappreciated church musician, school stress, never seeing my wife, no money,scholarships falling through, living plans dramatically altered, enrolling in a MM program at a school that is less than ideal---my best friend, Moochie, has to be put to sleep. This breaks my heart and I have wept for days as a result of it. I don't know why it has affected me the way that it has. I knew that I would be sad when that day had to come. But, you know when they say it rains, it pours and I guess in this downpour, I just didn't expect that to be a part of it. I feel like it is kind of a "last blow" so to speak.

I hope that next year is better. I am thinking that it has to be. In all of this, I keep thinking... you know, I have my family. I have my health. I have some money coming in. I am young. Life isn't over. Christ is Risen! That makes it easier a lot of the time, but recently, it hasn't. It just feels like it's been one sucky thing after another. I think I am going to make some drastic changes in the next couple of weeks. I am not sure what. Stay tuned and see what they are. I am not sure at this point yet what they are, but something needs to change.

In all of this, good and bad, the Lord is truly risen!

Family...

Short thoughts tonight:

Meredith and I went to Hickory today to get some things out of storage. Since we both have to work in the morning, there wasn't anyway for us to stay the evening. However, we went to my parent's house in Alexander County (aka, God's Country) and had a wonderful time with them. We had japanese food and sat around the table talking for a while until we retreated to the front porch and enjoyed this beautiful evening! I love my parents so much and admire them with great affection. This is my point: family is a gift from God, part of the riches of the grace of God in Christ Jesus. Love your family! Call them often! Enjoy being around them... life is like a flash of light and it's over... so soak up as much as you can with the people you love.

The Lord is truly risen!

Greek Festival Fun

Oh the fun we had tonight at the Greek Festival... I do believe that Meredith and I are Orthodox at heart. Maybe one day we'll find ourselves in the Greek Church, but not today...

I have to say that we experienced something unique tonight at the Greek Festival. We were looking around at the different vendors, taking in the sights and smells of the event, and generally enjoying being around each other-something we don't often get the chance to do anymore. We went into the bookstore and perused the icons and both of our eyes were drawn to the Resurrection icon. It was uncanny, we were both so moved and so inspired by this piece of art, well, more than art, this "touch of grace" if you will. We had to buy it. In our poverty, we wrestled with whether or not to get it, but we decided it was a must. We truly fell in love with it. The colors are magnificent and the joy that is depicted is spot on. It truly inspires one to remember and relive the resurrection. Meredith also said, "you have to get it because the resurrection is kind of your 'thing'" which I was honored to hear, but replied that it is the "thing" of christianity.

From there we went to another room and read about the icons and the worship of the Orthodox Christians. A lot of this information we already knew... as my wife pointed out, it's information that we have degrees in but affords us no usable income! We walked into the church and lit a candle for our families and for the families of those who lost loved ones 9 years ago today. The smell of incense was also just overwhelming in a good way. We took in the visual array of sacred art. From then, we got greek desserts, which are divine, in another kind of way. All in all, it was a wonderful date night with my wife. We had a great time and we feel that we truly experienced the grace and joy of the resurrection when we saw the icon that we purchased. It will be one of our prize possessions!

Go experience the joy of Christ's resurrection in the morning!

The Lord is truly risen!

Recently...

I know, it's been a while, but here goes...

Meredith has gotten a job at CVS. This is a blessing. At this point, it is part time, but we're hoping that it will grow in to full time soon. If not full time, at least full time hours.

A major new thing with us-- We have recently joined the ranks of the Christ Episcopal Church choir here in Charlotte. We have fallen in love with their music making each week. We attended a service, a week ago Sunday and knew that we had arrived to a place that we could really call our own. This is unique for us. Since we have been married, we have worked at two different churches. It is priceless that we can worship together, sing together, talk about the service together. We are so thankful that God has given us this opportunity.

I feel like I have been learning a new lesson these days... You may have learned it if you have been my age... being happy with less than ideal circumstances. I am learning that you never get what you really expected. A lot of times you don't even know what you want much less what you want to expect. Sometimes you have to be happy with what you have and learn to complain less. Gosh, will this be such a task for me! Most people know that I love to complain. School is fine, don't get me wrong. I do feel like I am learning and growing. I am certainly putting myself out there to grow. However, an idealist like me is always looking to a brighter future, and sometimes that future is realized in a more realistic way rather than the bright and bubbly idealism that I had hoped. "Yes, Cody, you can go to school, but you also have to work a couple (or three) jobs, deal with people in all situations that may not be as motivated as you are, and get to know the new people in your life and establish yourself musically and professionally." This isn't easy. No one ever said it would be... I want to learn the lesson of being happy with what I have and living in the moment. I look around and people of all ages are learning this lesson with me, it seems.

The Lord is truly risen! This truth endures for ever!

We're settling in fine in our first week in Fort Mill. Actually, we are settling in as fine as we need to for this temporary location. I began work last night at The Children's Place. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to work again. I felt so useful and productive. It is also nice to have a job that is in no way related to what I am very passionate about, i.e., Church and music. It allows me to not be consumed with these things and gives me a chance to free my mind.

I also have another bit of good news. I called Christ Episcopal Church in Charlotte and asked of the music director if he was hiring paid singers. Some churches do this so that they can do more challenging choral literature and have a consistent choral focus. He invited me to audition. I sang "Thus saith the Lord..." from Messiah. I sight-read some Tallis and Howells. He said that he would do some searching for money for me, and would be very happy to have me sing in his choir. He also asked me if my wife sings to which I replied, "Being in choir together is how we met." He warmly invited her to join me in a rehearsal this Thursday. So, Meredith and I could be singing in a choir together again. This is an exciting turn of events!

Meredith still hasn't found a job that will be full time. She has had two interviews with two different CVS stores that seem promising, but can't provide full time hours. Continue to pray that we can find something for her. The sooner we can find something for her, the sooner we can be on our own.

I begin school next week. I will probably have a lot to say about that when it comes! Dinner is smelling good though so I must be going!

Although this wasn't an explicitly "spiritual" writing, the truth endures that the Lord is truly risen!

We're Moved

Well, the day has come and we are here and moved. It is 4:15pm; you might be kind of surprised that we are done already. Let me bring you up to speed.

We got started about 9:30 this morning. Moving from the second floor is really tough and I hope that I don't have to do that again. I don't know how people do it who live even higher than the second floor. We realized that we were a little behind of food items and such, but nonetheless, we were out by 1:30. We also came to the realization that we had way more stuff than Meredith's dad's storage room could hold. I was really worried about what the possibilities would entail. I called the man that was letting us use the moving truck and he asked me, "are you guys just sticking this stuff in a storage locker?" I said, "that's the plan." He then told me that we could use the truck (which is a big industrial sized truck) as storage as long as we needed and he would bring the stuff down whenever we had an apartment lined up. This was a great relief to me and to our checking account! What an act of kindness! I couldn't believe that it worked out the way that it did. He was very kind to help us in this way. Not to mention the fact that I really didn't want to unload all that stuff into a storage room, just to have to do it all over again when we get something lined up.

I can't believe the goodness of God. He acts in so many wonderful ways. I am also so thankful for those that helped us move: Marie, Joseph, Cory, and my dad. Joseph and my dad just left a little bit ago and they are on their way back. I am very happy and I can't wait to get some sleep soon. God has done marvelous things!

The Lord is truly risen!

Moving Day Awaits

Just to bring you up to speed...

Meredith has come home and we have had a great couple of days together. We have had a lot of packing to do and we are almost done. Moving day is tomorrow and we are looking to load and be out by lunch time. This is my hope, but who knows if that will happen.

Small blessings this week...

Dinner with my parents last night: great conversation and a really good chicken sandwich from Wendy's (my favorite)

Time with Marie tonight

A member of Beth Eden is volunteering a moving truck!

Things that have happened since the last time I wrote...

I got a job at The Children's Place. This is a children's clothing chain. I will be working as a sales associate and it will afford me a little bit of "running money."

Meredith had an interview at CVS today and has another CVS interview next week. Things look good and she might be able to get a good deal of hours.

I was called today an offered weekly podium time at Winthrop with their large Collegiate Choir. This is a very good thing and it will give me invaluable experience.

Many good things going on. In 24 hours, we will be living with Meredith's parents. Continue to pray that we find employment that will allow us to live on our own.

God is very good and we are so excited about the future.

The Lord is truly risen!

Changing and Growing Up

First of all, let me tell the readers that I miss Meredith. She's been gone far too long. It's time for her to come back. Alas, she will be here tomorrow.

I still haven't heard back from the Children's Place. I get tired of being told that I will be contacted within a period of time and that period of time goes by and I hear nothing. However, God has taught me a lot about patience. I do try to look at this as a chance to grow in patience. One has no choice but to grow in patience when it comes to filling out applications online. If you haven't had the pleasure doing that, then you're really missing out on a blessing, as my baptist friends would say.

I was talking with a friend last night who like me has graduated from college and has struggled to adjust to grown up life. My conversations like this always left me mourning the loss of my childhood. I think about life as a kid and it seems like just yesterday my life was free of worries and challenges. However, it occurred to me in this particular conversation that my time of mourning was over. I look back at my childhood and a enjoy the memories, but the profound longing to return to those years is gone. Visiting my parents the other day, I got out of my car and smelled the freshly cut grass, a year ago this would have brought tears to my eyes (no lie). I found myself enjoying the smell for what it was and what it meant. This is so freeing to me.

There is another interesting point--Freedom. We learn and we grow, and while learning we feel bound to certain rules-- color inside the lines, keep your shirt tucked in, no elbows on the table, the seventh should always resolve down (for the musicians reading)-- but I am beginning to feel a great sense of freedom in my life and in my marriage. We have the opportunity to grow and to endure within the context of freedom. I say this the Sunday before my wife and I move into my in-laws house... paradox, huh? Freedom abounds though. All because of Christ. Thank God for Jesus!

The Lord is truly risen!

Painful dreams

I had an interview with the Children's Place today. It is a clothing store that I worked for in high school and for a year after high school. I would be working at the SouthPark Mall in Charlotte. I think I have the job. At this point, anything that brings in some money is ideal.

Meredith has two upcoming interviews with CVS at two different locations. She will be interviewing for a position in the pharmacy. Hopefully this will mean a lot of hours and decent pay. My job, however, won't be great pay, but it will be gas money and a phone bill payment at least.

Good things ahead as always.

Meredith and I were talking this week about a struggling marriage between two folks we know. As newlyweds, we don't want to think of anything like this happening to our own marriage, but we did try to think of some reasons why this marriage was struggling. I posited that it might be possible that men have chronic problem of wandering eyes and perhaps a fleeting conscience. Another thought came to my mind that I feel like is the source of many struggling relationships... a failure to cling to the end result. In the last entry, I wrote about living in the moment which I feel is very important. But, there must be a balance between living in the moment and seeking an optimal end result in your relationships with others. My relationship with Meredith is ongoing, so what is the end result? An ongoing committment fed by devotion to one another that is rooted in Christ's suffering and joy. But what about all the crap that most people have to go through in their relationships? Like, don't most people find that their greatest struggle lies with dealing with another person in some capacity?

Most people struggle with living with and serving others. As well we should. We are, afterall, a fallen people, right? We want what's best for number one, right? We must constantly self-correct, with the help of the Holy Spirit. We die to ourselves daily. We give ourselves over to those whom we love, much like Christ did for us. We empty ourselves of our wants, for the love of our brother and sister. When things look rough, when things look bleak, we identify with the suffering of Christ. Afterall, we remember that we must keep our eyes on the end result. In relationships like the one I share with Meredith, the end result is a lifetime of committment. We remember Christ in his suffering, and we share his joy, the joy of the resurrection, in good times and bad. Dreams worth going after are never easy. A child can't be born without the pain of labor. A marriage can't last without the pain (at times) of committment. A house can't be built without the pain of work and money spent. Every dream requires investment, and every investment requires a part or all of ourselves.

The dream is realized through suffering. Just like the resurrection is realized through the suffering of the cross. Clinging to the end result, as I mentioned earlier, is another way of "clinging to the resurrection power of Christ." Just another way that Christ's life is a model of humanity and the divine. Christ is before all things and in all things. This has a new meaning when we consider our incessent identification with him through suffering and joy. Take up your cross with a smile on your face. You only have one life to live and live it hard, with suffering and pain, and the ever enduring joy of the resurrection.

The Lord is truly risen!

a more profound joy

Well, no news yet on the job front. We're looking at moving out August 12, which is a Thursday a little less that two weeks ahead of us. Meredith is visiting family in WV and it will be just me this week. I honestly have no idea what I am going to do with myself.

I did receive a call from a church confirming that they had received my resume and a possible interview in the next couple of weeks would be likely. This is exciting news. I am just practicing away and hoping and praying for the best.

My thoughts lately are somewhat centered around the idea of joy. I remember sitting in an assembly in high school and the principal told all of us to dream big and shoot for the stars. I remember on many occasions being told to seek only the very best (remember last entry?). I think that dreaming big is what we have to do when we are at certain stages of our life. However, unless we have realistic, practical goals for ourselves, idealistic people like me would always be depressed. I look around me at the people who have dreamed big and gone after what they want and I seem many happy folks. I look at people that have had big dreams and gone after the preparation and ended up somewhere they never would have expected. Then, I see people who may not have been encouraged to dream big, who maybe decided that making money and earning a living was the best way to go. There are many of these guys that are very happy. So then, what is the key to happiness? We all ask this question in our own special way. We all arrive at different answers. I have to give mine...

I have found that I am most happy in the moment. I have found that I have been most discouraged outside of the moment. Now, is this true for all of us? Probably not. But let me tell you, that happiness like beauty is all around us. There are many things/people standing in the way, but it is there. You could say that all the aforementioned folks, whether they went after their dreams or not, are happy or could be happy because of this. Living in the moment and seeking the joys of what you are experiencing right then. I have heard people talk about this for years, but only now am I realizing the fuller implications of living in the moment. Hearing your parents laugh, realizing that your wife smiles almost all the time, enjoying a sandwich with your dad, having dinner with friends, being on the lake, watching a good movie, having a good conversation, the dog plopping beside you for a respite, the feel of the sheets when you first get into bed... which is what i need to do in a minute... but there are many things for which we can claim our happiness. If we look at things with a different perspective, everything that gives us joy is truly a gift from God through the power of the resurrected Christ. Not only those things that give us joy, but that challenge us, and make us think, things that help us grow and learn, things that make us cry at times and feel things deeply, these are all a gift from God to remind us that we are His and He is ours. Joy, the joy of living, the joy of the human experience... All because of the pain and suffering, and resurrected joy of Jesus.

This is why our lives are tributes of thanksgiving. Over and over we give thanks to God for this joy. Seek joy, it is there for the taking, always. Dream big, but know that joy is always abundant.

The Lord is truly risen!

The Very Best, which is??

Seek only the very best...

This is something that I have been told many times. Only recently have I called into question the meaning of this statement. If I am to seek the very best, I guess on the most basic level it means to not settle for what may be considered mediocre. Who judges what is mediocre and what isn't? Sometimes a risk is taken from one vantage point, but from another it appears to be the safe choice.

What can be better than seek what God has in store? Being willing to make the sacrifice and enjoy the riches of God's grace, is this not what is the best? No, not everything will come together right away. If I have learned anything in the last couple of years, it is that nothing is perfect. No matter how hard you try, you will sin; no matter how much you love your mate, she/he will get on your nerves; no matter how good things look like they may turn out, there will always be something to stand in the way. What is the very best then? Could it be that taking the situation that you have been given and seeking every opportunity for growth would be the best thing? Who knows what the best thing is for everyone? But we all have an opinion about the way we think our lives should turn out in some way. Maybe committing to God's plan is realizing that things aren't always the way they seem and that life must be lived by living and doing, not as much thinking and planning. "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but God orders his steps" has a whole new meaning. Think about it... We plan, and planning is good, but God has the ultimate word. We think and think, ponder, and hope, but it is God who allows the final say. This is comforting and scary in different ways. Comforting in that God, who loves us, has the final word; scary in that we don't know what that word is.

What is the last word? Could it be that all things are made new in light of the resurrection? It could be and is. Nothing is perfect, but all things are restored. Relationships are hard, but not hopeless. Decisions are difficult, but not insurmountable. Christ has opened the door to all the good things God has allowed for us. This door is life; full, abundant life. We all have opinions, and most of us mean well, but God has the final word and that is a fact. So with this in mind, our continuing thought is "Lord, have mercy." Mercy that restores our imperfections. Mercy that bestows grace. Mercy that helps us realize that God, the Lord, is our strength and shield. What is the best? Who knows? Plan, but know that God has the final word. Do, but know that it is God who will prosper or hinder you. It is in him that we live and have life. We are a people teeming with life because of that Easter day.

The Lord is truly risen!

jobs ahead, maybe...

Meredith and I went to Charlotte yesterday, a trip with which we are becoming terribly familiar. She had something like an interview at Lebo's. Lebo's is a western store that sells jeans and shoes and cowboy hats and they also sell dance wear. This would be a great place for her to buy me a pair of cowboy boots... and definitely some flannel shirts. She and the manager hit it off now we are waiting for the manager to talk with the district manager about her and possibly we could have a job between us. It is full time and would allow us to live on our own.

I am sending my resume to a church in the area that is looking for a full time director of music. Boy, would I love to have this job. It is a small church and they are looking for an organist/choir director, but they want someone with a diverse background. I feel like my background is about as diverse as one can get in church music... from southern gospel/bluegrass, to latin mass, to lutheran classics, plainchant, to english favorites, praise band, lead sheets, great hymns... who knows what could be ahead with this church. It seems that they really want to focus on growing and becoming varied in their expression. I would love to be able to help in this, not to mention get a full time job out of it!

So things are up in the air right now... your continued prayers are valued. We are excited about these possibilities. Now... errands to complete before lunch!

Everyday the power of Christ inspires me, sometimes without even realizing it... the Lord is truly risen!

Catching you up...

I have mixed feelings about blogging for so many reasons. I have attempted to blog and keep up with blogs, but it is difficult. I also feel presumptuous for thinking that people want to know what I am thinking or how many times I brushed my teeth that day, or my favorite dessert. However, I have decided to start recording my thoughts for a little bit because God has been so good. Whether or not it feels that way from time to time, I look at all things in my life and considering his work, I know that God is very good and that his mercy does indeed endure for ever.

Just to catch you up... Meredith and I got married in December and she finished a Master's program in flute performance at Appstate in the summer and I graduated from L-R. My plan was to go to graduate school for choral conducting. I looked at some schools and decided to apply to Emory in Atlanta and University of Arizona in Tucson. I got into both programs and we were very excited. We really wanted an adventure, to get out of the south and see what it was like in another part of the country. However, after a several months of waiting, I finally heard that the big plans for financial assistance that Arizona thought they could give me could not actually happen. We were devastated and had we gone through the move to a place that could guarantee me nothing financially, we would have been ourselves financially devastated.

Plan B. I called Winthrop University in Rock Hill, SC. It's close and they have a MM program in Choral Conducting. It is a small program but looked very promising. I inquired and it seems that things would work out for me to begin this fall! Exciting news. I met the choral director there and she seems to be a pistol that is all about teaching me to be the expressive artist that I am, not to mention she stresses strong score study and analytical skills. Wow, everything seems to be coming together. Many people have varying opinions about what I should do and that is okay. It wasn't until I realized that it was Meredith and I who would have to live our lives with the choices we make that I became aware of the fact that it is okay not to take every opinion so seriously...

Another thing that helped with the conflicting ideas thrown my way... God. Yes, God. Believe it or not. The Lord is my strength and my song... For so long, I grew up trying and trying to be the right person that did the right thing so that I could please God. But, I came to the realization that God is doing the work and I am part of it. I am not the whole or a big part, but I am just a couple of measures in the symphony of existence, maybe even just a couple of chords, hopefully something in G major. Through Christ, his death and resurrection, the victory has been won and I am living life victoriously. A committed life to God in Christ, through the help of the Holy Spirit allows me to remember that there is nothing that I can do that will inhibit the plans God has for me. I am so excited about the work that God is bringing about in my life and my life with Meredith.

This is another experience of resurrection joy... I don't know how to continue this blog, but I'll try. Other posts might not be so heavy. Like, Meredith has a job interview tomorrow... so you might hear about that. I have to study for some diagnostic exams and you might hear about that. By the way, for the music listeners out there... Brahms Symphony 3 is the bomb! Keep up with the blog and I'll try too. Be happy with me in these experiences of resurrection joy.

The Lord is truly risen!