a more profound joy

Well, no news yet on the job front. We're looking at moving out August 12, which is a Thursday a little less that two weeks ahead of us. Meredith is visiting family in WV and it will be just me this week. I honestly have no idea what I am going to do with myself.

I did receive a call from a church confirming that they had received my resume and a possible interview in the next couple of weeks would be likely. This is exciting news. I am just practicing away and hoping and praying for the best.

My thoughts lately are somewhat centered around the idea of joy. I remember sitting in an assembly in high school and the principal told all of us to dream big and shoot for the stars. I remember on many occasions being told to seek only the very best (remember last entry?). I think that dreaming big is what we have to do when we are at certain stages of our life. However, unless we have realistic, practical goals for ourselves, idealistic people like me would always be depressed. I look around me at the people who have dreamed big and gone after what they want and I seem many happy folks. I look at people that have had big dreams and gone after the preparation and ended up somewhere they never would have expected. Then, I see people who may not have been encouraged to dream big, who maybe decided that making money and earning a living was the best way to go. There are many of these guys that are very happy. So then, what is the key to happiness? We all ask this question in our own special way. We all arrive at different answers. I have to give mine...

I have found that I am most happy in the moment. I have found that I have been most discouraged outside of the moment. Now, is this true for all of us? Probably not. But let me tell you, that happiness like beauty is all around us. There are many things/people standing in the way, but it is there. You could say that all the aforementioned folks, whether they went after their dreams or not, are happy or could be happy because of this. Living in the moment and seeking the joys of what you are experiencing right then. I have heard people talk about this for years, but only now am I realizing the fuller implications of living in the moment. Hearing your parents laugh, realizing that your wife smiles almost all the time, enjoying a sandwich with your dad, having dinner with friends, being on the lake, watching a good movie, having a good conversation, the dog plopping beside you for a respite, the feel of the sheets when you first get into bed... which is what i need to do in a minute... but there are many things for which we can claim our happiness. If we look at things with a different perspective, everything that gives us joy is truly a gift from God through the power of the resurrected Christ. Not only those things that give us joy, but that challenge us, and make us think, things that help us grow and learn, things that make us cry at times and feel things deeply, these are all a gift from God to remind us that we are His and He is ours. Joy, the joy of living, the joy of the human experience... All because of the pain and suffering, and resurrected joy of Jesus.

This is why our lives are tributes of thanksgiving. Over and over we give thanks to God for this joy. Seek joy, it is there for the taking, always. Dream big, but know that joy is always abundant.

The Lord is truly risen!

The Very Best, which is??

Seek only the very best...

This is something that I have been told many times. Only recently have I called into question the meaning of this statement. If I am to seek the very best, I guess on the most basic level it means to not settle for what may be considered mediocre. Who judges what is mediocre and what isn't? Sometimes a risk is taken from one vantage point, but from another it appears to be the safe choice.

What can be better than seek what God has in store? Being willing to make the sacrifice and enjoy the riches of God's grace, is this not what is the best? No, not everything will come together right away. If I have learned anything in the last couple of years, it is that nothing is perfect. No matter how hard you try, you will sin; no matter how much you love your mate, she/he will get on your nerves; no matter how good things look like they may turn out, there will always be something to stand in the way. What is the very best then? Could it be that taking the situation that you have been given and seeking every opportunity for growth would be the best thing? Who knows what the best thing is for everyone? But we all have an opinion about the way we think our lives should turn out in some way. Maybe committing to God's plan is realizing that things aren't always the way they seem and that life must be lived by living and doing, not as much thinking and planning. "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but God orders his steps" has a whole new meaning. Think about it... We plan, and planning is good, but God has the ultimate word. We think and think, ponder, and hope, but it is God who allows the final say. This is comforting and scary in different ways. Comforting in that God, who loves us, has the final word; scary in that we don't know what that word is.

What is the last word? Could it be that all things are made new in light of the resurrection? It could be and is. Nothing is perfect, but all things are restored. Relationships are hard, but not hopeless. Decisions are difficult, but not insurmountable. Christ has opened the door to all the good things God has allowed for us. This door is life; full, abundant life. We all have opinions, and most of us mean well, but God has the final word and that is a fact. So with this in mind, our continuing thought is "Lord, have mercy." Mercy that restores our imperfections. Mercy that bestows grace. Mercy that helps us realize that God, the Lord, is our strength and shield. What is the best? Who knows? Plan, but know that God has the final word. Do, but know that it is God who will prosper or hinder you. It is in him that we live and have life. We are a people teeming with life because of that Easter day.

The Lord is truly risen!

jobs ahead, maybe...

Meredith and I went to Charlotte yesterday, a trip with which we are becoming terribly familiar. She had something like an interview at Lebo's. Lebo's is a western store that sells jeans and shoes and cowboy hats and they also sell dance wear. This would be a great place for her to buy me a pair of cowboy boots... and definitely some flannel shirts. She and the manager hit it off now we are waiting for the manager to talk with the district manager about her and possibly we could have a job between us. It is full time and would allow us to live on our own.

I am sending my resume to a church in the area that is looking for a full time director of music. Boy, would I love to have this job. It is a small church and they are looking for an organist/choir director, but they want someone with a diverse background. I feel like my background is about as diverse as one can get in church music... from southern gospel/bluegrass, to latin mass, to lutheran classics, plainchant, to english favorites, praise band, lead sheets, great hymns... who knows what could be ahead with this church. It seems that they really want to focus on growing and becoming varied in their expression. I would love to be able to help in this, not to mention get a full time job out of it!

So things are up in the air right now... your continued prayers are valued. We are excited about these possibilities. Now... errands to complete before lunch!

Everyday the power of Christ inspires me, sometimes without even realizing it... the Lord is truly risen!

Catching you up...

I have mixed feelings about blogging for so many reasons. I have attempted to blog and keep up with blogs, but it is difficult. I also feel presumptuous for thinking that people want to know what I am thinking or how many times I brushed my teeth that day, or my favorite dessert. However, I have decided to start recording my thoughts for a little bit because God has been so good. Whether or not it feels that way from time to time, I look at all things in my life and considering his work, I know that God is very good and that his mercy does indeed endure for ever.

Just to catch you up... Meredith and I got married in December and she finished a Master's program in flute performance at Appstate in the summer and I graduated from L-R. My plan was to go to graduate school for choral conducting. I looked at some schools and decided to apply to Emory in Atlanta and University of Arizona in Tucson. I got into both programs and we were very excited. We really wanted an adventure, to get out of the south and see what it was like in another part of the country. However, after a several months of waiting, I finally heard that the big plans for financial assistance that Arizona thought they could give me could not actually happen. We were devastated and had we gone through the move to a place that could guarantee me nothing financially, we would have been ourselves financially devastated.

Plan B. I called Winthrop University in Rock Hill, SC. It's close and they have a MM program in Choral Conducting. It is a small program but looked very promising. I inquired and it seems that things would work out for me to begin this fall! Exciting news. I met the choral director there and she seems to be a pistol that is all about teaching me to be the expressive artist that I am, not to mention she stresses strong score study and analytical skills. Wow, everything seems to be coming together. Many people have varying opinions about what I should do and that is okay. It wasn't until I realized that it was Meredith and I who would have to live our lives with the choices we make that I became aware of the fact that it is okay not to take every opinion so seriously...

Another thing that helped with the conflicting ideas thrown my way... God. Yes, God. Believe it or not. The Lord is my strength and my song... For so long, I grew up trying and trying to be the right person that did the right thing so that I could please God. But, I came to the realization that God is doing the work and I am part of it. I am not the whole or a big part, but I am just a couple of measures in the symphony of existence, maybe even just a couple of chords, hopefully something in G major. Through Christ, his death and resurrection, the victory has been won and I am living life victoriously. A committed life to God in Christ, through the help of the Holy Spirit allows me to remember that there is nothing that I can do that will inhibit the plans God has for me. I am so excited about the work that God is bringing about in my life and my life with Meredith.

This is another experience of resurrection joy... I don't know how to continue this blog, but I'll try. Other posts might not be so heavy. Like, Meredith has a job interview tomorrow... so you might hear about that. I have to study for some diagnostic exams and you might hear about that. By the way, for the music listeners out there... Brahms Symphony 3 is the bomb! Keep up with the blog and I'll try too. Be happy with me in these experiences of resurrection joy.

The Lord is truly risen!