This morning I woke up before Meredith, which is nothing new. A lot of times I will lie there and think about an assortment of things anything from the future to what I am going to eat for lunch today. Today, as I have been a lot recently, I thought of the past.
It's amazing to me how vividly I remember things in the quietness of the night or the early morning. I was thinking today about my elementary school. I remember really loving that time of my life. I was so proud of my 1930s elementary school building. What I loved most about school at that time was our library time when we would go pick out books, check them out, and then head to the couches for our weekly installment of some great book that the librarian would read to us. This is one thing that really taught me to love reading. I remember being this age, and knowing that I want my kids to have the same experience as I had. I even remember the smell of the library books.
I also was thinking about my life then. I remember being at home with my brother, who was unfortunately charged with the task of driving me around, as he is 9 years older. I remember playing "catch" with my dad on a daily basis as well as helping him in the yard with the work that needed to be done. I remember unloading groceries for my mom. Actually, most of my memories of my mom include the grocery store. I guess I accompanied her on a frequent basis. To this day, if I smell the men's deodorant "Speedstick" thoughts of my dad flood in my mind. I remember going with my dad to jobsites and helping him with his work in the summer. Because he loved "oldies" I came to love that music too. I tell people that because of hearing that music so frequently I feel like I grew up in the 60s.
Then my thought turn to summers at home. I remember, not too long ago, I was at home in the summer practicing the piano for hours at a time. I remember getting up late in the morning and mowing the grass. I remember having an endless amount of Totinos Pizza Rolls, cleaning my parents house, house training whatever new puppy my mom acquired, taking long naps (that didn't affect my sleep that night), reading and reading and reading, taking walks in what I feel is the most beautiful area in the world-Taylorsville, driving around with Joseph talking about what we thought the future would be like and listening to the Beach Boys, giving the local Walmart my patronage. I remember the hours of practicing the organ in the evenings at Antioch Baptist Church.
All these things pass in my mind in the morning or late at night. They pass as quickly as they happened. I think now of how my brother just celebrated his ninth wedding anniversary and now has two beautiful girls and a boy on the way. I think of how I never get to see my parents and when I do it goes by too quickly. I think of how my heart hurts when I drive out "in the country" in Alexander and Catawba counties knowing that I can't be there for more than a day or so at a time. I think of how I am married now, and not "just" married. I have been married for almost a year and a half. My friends are married and getting older. When we used to talk about girls, we now talk about bills. When we used to talk about the future, we now talk about the past.
This is the beginning of my life, I know. I am excited about what the future holds, believe it or not. I know that sometimes when you are the most homesick, that is reflective of unhappiness or unsettledness in the present time. Sometimes I just wonder if this is just part of who I am-having a grip on what has made me and shaped me. I certainly am unsettled at this point. I hope to be filling you in as to what the next step for Meredith and me is very shortly. For now, I will just leave you with these thoughts of the past. Perhaps it will prompt you to think of your past and enjoy those memories in the late evening or early in the morning.
